Proverbs 19:13 New Living Translation (NLT)
13 ….a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.
Have you ever been laying in your bed, on the verge of sweet dreams and hear the faucet ‘drip…drip…drip’ ? Most of us will try to ignore the annoyance and force ourselves to sleep, but some can’t stand the distraction, so we jump out of bed, huffing, puffing and stomping to the bathroom to turn the knob that someone else probably left on!!! If that isn’t irritating enough, we then may discover that the handle is broken and we can’t make the stupid think stop dripping!
Such is the predicament of a man who is forced to live with a quarrelsome wife.
It has been said, by countless “professionals” that a man’s greatest need in any relationship is respect. I have discovered that to be true- at least, partly. I would contend that a mans greatest need is the same as that of a woman’s- to be loved. Its how Our Creator designed us and its what He commands we do; love God with all our heart, mind, soul & strength & love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31).
For the first several years of our marriage, I tried in vain to love/respect my man, but I constantly fell short. Any difference of opinion would lead to a “discussion” which would lead to my voice becoming elevated which would lead to choice adjectives & insults flying out of my mouth. I’d then become enraged when Doug would disengage from the “discussion” and walk away!!! So I would retaliate by ignoring him for the next few hours or days….
A few years later, after I found Jesus (actually, He found me, right?!) I tried even harder to fight the good fight, um, rather have a suitable “discussion.” However, the same cycle would emerge, but occasionally Doug would stay engaged and try to talk me down from my tirade… “honey, I’m not going to listen to you when you speak this way to me, I deserve more respect.”
Drip…drip…drip…get out of bed and try to turn the faucet off.
“WHAT?!?! You deserve?!?! What about what I deserve?!?! If you’d worry more about loving me and less about being respected, we wouldn’t have these issues and I wouldn’t have to yell and cuss!!!”
Drip….drip…drip….the faucet is broken.
It wasn’t until after I began praying for my husband; the man I had pledged to love…till death do us part (which I thought, may be fast approaching) did I realize how annoying my quarreling was. Not only was it annoying, it was, in essence saying to Doug “I don’t love you…you are not worthy of my love/respect.”
Drip…drip…drip….call the Plumber.
When I finally asked God to show me His perspective of my husband & to help me fix the leak, my attitude towards my husband changed (note: I did not say that my husband changed; at least, not at first). When I began reading God’s word and asking the Holy Spirit to apply it to my life, the quarreling diminished. Now, I must admit, its not completely gone…occasionally a small drip….drip…drip can be heard, but now I know to call the Plumber immediately, before that sucker breaks and we have a flood all over the floor!
Wives, if your husband has ever accused you of being quarrelsome or disrespectful, don’t cuss him out and insult him. Instead, ask the Lord ‘is this true?’ And if He says ‘yes,’ ask Him how He sees your husband….then, once you stop crying….ask him to help you love your husband and ‘submit to Him, as unto the Lord.’ (Ephesians 5:22)
Then, I suggest, you have the Plumbers number on speed dial and call Him up daily to maintain that sometimes leaky faucet!